Movie quote #026

Apparently this is also a quote from a TV show, so if you can name both that's major bonus points for you!!

"There's not enough meats on a stick"

Would like a view with that cup of crazy?

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how he knew who should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the prospective patient and then we ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No," said the Director, "a normal person would pull the plug out. Do you want a room with or without a view?"

Song lyrics #001

OK - this one's a goodie. Band name, song name and the next two lines please!!

"It’s sounds pathetic as me being anorexic,
I do damage like a paralytic, paramedic with no anaesthetic."

Movie quote #025

"Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll f#@kin' kill you. That's not a threat. Now, that's a fact. I'll f#@kin' kill you."

TV shows #001

Time to mix it up a bit. TV shows are probably a bit harder to get from one quote, so I will be giving three... please provide the name of the show and the characters/actor who said them.

A) "Dude, I'm about to bust a mad sliz-ice on your insides"
B) "Banana hammock"
C) "Well hello Shirley"

Joke time #001

A lot of people can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country.

Well, there's a very simple answer.

Nobody bothered to check the oil and we just didn't know we were getting low.

The reason for that is purely geographical.

Our oil is located in Bass Strait and off the coast of W.A. and our dipsticks are located in Canberra!

Biggest this summer

Given that I have officially named November the first month of summer, I think I have the right to claim that party as the biggest one this summer.

Killer BBQ action early on with some serious salad action (thanks Helen, Jackie and Sarah). That killer bucket of punch, and ohhh my god, the green fairy annihilation... who was the crazy biatch that bought out the absinthe?

Hmmm, I remember...... umm, NOTHING after about 10:30. There was a whole lot of absinthe, a severe icing and some monkeys hanging on the clothes line... that's about the last of it. Next thing I know I am waking up, more drunk at 7am than a number of people have been in their entire lives.

Comments to assist mine and everyone else's memory are encouraged, and as Kim was official historian for the night I NEED to get a copy of those photos!!

Hooray for McD's bacon and egg mcmuffins and hash browns... ohhh yeah!!

Movie quote #024

"You think my son would be that stupid; he would bring my diary all the way back here?"

Socceroos off to Germany

The Aussie boys did their country proud after a 1-0 result sent the game into overtime, and then penalty shootouts (thanks to a first half goal by Marco Bresciano and brilliant goal keeping by Mark Schwarzer). Uruguay missed their first shot, and both teams missed their fourth shot... that's 4-2 Australia, Uruguay in deep s***-ski.

All hail Harry Kewell, Lucas Neil, Tony Vidmar and Jon Aloisi for making their shots count and once again to Mark Schwarzer for domination in goals!!

da killa BBQ

Drop your socks, grab your....... fox, and get on down to Youdy's pad on Saturday evening for one killa BBQ.

The festivities begin when you arrive, but let's say about 5pm onwards.

Don't worry if you can't make it this weekend because this summer is going to be:
a) huge
b) so much fun, and
c) pack full of BBQ's, beers and goodtimes @ Youdys!!!

BYO drinks and extra meat - i'll do the snags, salads and world famous BBQ chippies.

See you there, or see else where - just make sure it's soon!!

PS. If you don't know my address and you don't know someone that does, well you shouldn't be reading this and are not invited!!

Blog Poll #001 - The Wrangler

To buy, or not to buy - that is the question!

Note: Actual end product may differ in colour/trimmings.

Tourism Tasmania new website

This is the funniest, most accurate depiction of Tasmania.

Disclaimer: Beware, hilarity may cause injury.

Original pranksters

The P-P-P-Powerbook prank is a total classic! When you have 1/2 hour read this and join in the celebration of righteous retribution.

Follow it up with a browse over the Senator prank.

A walking god

Tucker Max is most certainly a man set apart from all others... read this and I am sure you will be weeping with tears of joy as I was.

So who wants to join me in drinking from the absinthe nipple?

Movie quote #023

You guys don't deserve another one as you haven't answered the last one yet!!

But here it is:
"It can’t rain all the time"

I'm a real boy

I believe they were Pinocchio's immortal words (excuse the pun), temporarily released from his wooden body to walk the world as flesh and blood, before returning to his former wooden state (well atleast that's how it happened in Shrek 2).

Back at work inside of 15 hours from arriving in the state, how crazy am I??

Had a small BBQ with a few of the boys and girls last night. So good to see friends again and have a few beers and some fine wine (not that the wine was fine, but that sounded good).

Thanks heaps to mum and dad for picking me up from the airport and running around everywhere for me - you guys rock.

Thanks to Tim and Ness for looking after my house for 3 months - you guys rock!

Thanks to all you for following my journey across the globe, some of you for making comments on this blog, others for the emails you sent. To the rest of you that didn't write at all... well shame on you, where was your support???

Hmmmph - work. Well, after I take the next week to wade through the 1100 odd emails I might try and get back into some sort of routine... maybe with a bit of luck I can stretch that a little longer, ... like April 2008!!!

ROCK ON!

Life is like a box of chocolates

Just keep it in the fridge or they'll all melt.....

It's about 33 degrees here in Sydney... one hell of a shock to the system. New York was uncharacteristically warm for November, but that was like 17-21 degrees... this bloody Australian weather... who'd wanna live here??

Such a weird feeling on the flight coming back into Oz. Was really bummed out about the end of my trip, but once we got within a couple hours of landing in Sydney I felt, I guess, elated at the thought of being home. Now I am here in Sydney saying "It's great to be home", and I haven't spent more than 3 weeks of my entire life in Sydney.... how could this be home?

... the Aussie accent I guess is the real thing that blows you away more than anything. When I got on the plane in New York I almost wanted to throttle the captain with his thick American accent. But when I got on the plane in LA, the Aussie accent of the pilot and crew almost bowled me off my seat... really was an amazing sense of "home".

"C'Mon Aussie C'Mon, C'mon!!"

Anyways Justaan has finished his meeting, time to go for coffee, lunch... or something.

Fergeddaboudid!

Well, it's time to leave The Big Apple.

Assuming I make it through the US customs and back in to Australia I'll see you all soon.

Ciao, Arrivaderci, Tchus, Chin-chok-chay, Aufweidersehn, Bye!

Movie quote #022

Who wants to lug their luggage all over New York? Not me; ergo here we have another quote... This one will sort out the men from the boys!

"We're in hell right now gentlemen. Believe me. And we can stay here, get the s#1t kicked out of us, or we can fight our way back into the light. We can climb outta hell... one inch at a time. "

Movie quote #021

To play on the hockey theme of the moment, here's an easy one for all you punters out there.

"During high school, I played junior hockey and still hold two league records: most time spent in the penalty box; and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab somebody."

Same guy, different movie:

Coach: "B****, can you do that for me every game?"
B****: "Coach, not only will I do it for you, I... I... I... yes, yes, I'll do it for you."

OK - the actor is obvious. So astound us with your witt, movie names and the character he plays.

Tassie weather

HOBART  Rain at times. Max 25

Forecast for Wednesday : Mainly fine. Min 14 Max 22
Forecast for Thursday : A few showers. Min 11 Max 18
Forecast for Friday : A few showers. Min 09 Max 16
Outlook for Saturday to Monday: Fine.

Hmm, looks like the weather heard I was coming home.....

What's all that about?

Movie quote #020

"Say hello to my little friend!"

New York, New York

Well, guess I can fill in the Scotland stuff later, but truncated timetables and stupidly expensive internet preclude timewasting.

DAMN - this place is unreal.... I have done soooo much in the last couple days, and strangely enough think I could keep seeing things for weeks, if the stress and tiringness of it all wasn't killing me.

Have been to see the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, The WTC Ground Zero, Times Square (about 100 times), The USS Intrepid (Aircraft carrier converted into a museum), Madame Tussauds Wax Museum, Empire State Building at night, Rockerfeller Centre, the UN building....... the list just keeps going.

Most importantly!! Went to a Black Eyed Peas and Gwen Stefani concert at the Madison Square Gardens on Tuesday night - ohhh yeah "I'm feeling hella good so won't you keep on dancin'" (Damn, that was No Doubt.... OK, I'm bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S) . Tonight (Thurs) went and saw The Lion King - AMAZING sets and costumes!!! Friday night I am going to see the New York Nicks play their first home game for the season against Washington Warriors at the Garden (that's basketball for the uneducated) and Monday I am going to see the New York Rangers take on the Pittsburg Penguins also at the Garden (Ice Hockey if you are wondering).... And yes, Madison Square Gardens has become my second home, the best source of MSG you can get!!

Plenty more to do in the big city, so better get some rest so I can attack it all again tomorrow.

Love you all - CYA soon!!