The worst beer in the world

VB might just be one of the worst beers in world, but damn it has the funniest ad's.

Check out this one and if you like it go check out the rest here.

You can get it servin' up chow,
Or milking a cow.
Matter of fact, I got it now.

And of course - the 'Talking Boony' - as part of cricket Australia's summer of Boon


The most idyllic player to grace Australian sport in the last century - here are Boony's player stats.

Heat to the extreme

Heat wave hit's Tassie... and damn it was HOT - topped out at 38 degrees in Hobart, and got to about 40 in the Campagnia/Richmond area!!

Click here to see a graph of Hobart's weather - temp, wind, humidity etc.

Operation 'shack-bravo'

Mission shack-alpha was aborted last Friday due to hostile action, so the revised shack-bravo mission is being run this weekend.

Under the cover of forecast rain, all agents selected for the mission will converge on Swanwick in a Beach Landing style incursion Friday evening. Eski's and stubbie coolers will be required, as will fold up BBQ chairs if you want the comfy seat.

Saturday and Sunday are forecast to be BEAUTIFUL days, so an array of outdoors activities may be possible, including climbing, riding, sun baking, surfing, or just some serious drinking..... you pick and choose depending on your training, health and competencies.

Depature is scheduled for 17:30 Friday evening from the residence of Special Agent Craggles who is being kidnapped for the duration of the mission.

Management vs. I.T.

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below.He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

"The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be in Information Technology," said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip.

"The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

Little Johnny classic

Little Johnnie's neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears. Or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely.

When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby."
The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnnie."
Johnnie said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"
"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."

"That's great", said Little Johnnie, "coz he'd be f*cked if he needed glasses.

The West Moonah Circus Tent

Come on down to the big-top in West Moonah and celebrate the birthday of our high-wire trapeze artist.

Yes that's right, yours truely is celebrating his 25th birthday on the 25th of January, a perfect way to welcome in the holiest of holidays - Australia Day on the 26th.

The circus activities will begin as soon as you arrive after work on Wednesday 25th and will continue until the last man and/or lady drops.

Bring your friends, your drinks, a circus midget, and bring a lamb chop so you too can be as Australian as Sam Kekovitch - if you have no idea what we are talking about with this circus freak - check this out

If you have any questions regarding the success of the aforementioned gathering - rest assured we will be having as much fun as these guys

;)

CYA then

Public Health Denouncement

It's official, Special Agent Craggles has been infected with the Category E virus most commononly known as "glandular fever". As such he has been removed from active duty on all up coming missions, his period of suspension is currently set at 4-6 weeks.

Weekend weather at the shack

FYI, just to show I am gonna have a great weekend at the shack.
Saturday
Mostly sunny 10°C - 23°C
Sunday
Mostly sunny 11°C - 22°C
Monday
Mostly sunny 3°C - 22°C

And it's even harder to take with views like this

The 42 Below boogie

Once again the team at 42 Below have released another classic short vid for all of us to cack our selves laughing at.

Enjoy.

A Eulolgy for Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.

Joke time #003

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

And finally...

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Cray divin' @ Cape Barren Island

Somehow found myself on the North East coast heading across Banks Strait towards the Furneaux group (52 inslands dominated by Flinders Island) - we were headed to Cape Barren Island in particular. It's a 35km trip across one of the worst stretches of water in the world. Being the safety conscious people that we are, we set out with two boats full of gear and guys (4 in each boat). LUCKILY (well due to great planning) the weather was perfect, less than 10 knot winds and half a metre of swell. All in all a wonderful settting, some of the best diving country I have ever seen - huge caves, brilliant sea life and most importantly CRAY... well when we finally found them!!

For those that have no idea where I am talking about - check out this map - top right corner... Cape Barren is the big one below Flinders Island.


Launching the boat in the channel at Little Musselroe Bay.

What a shocking place to launch a boat, especially at low tide... unfortunately dad hit the prop on some rocks and bit the end off each of the 3 blades = loss of power and steering... the worst thing is we didn't actually notice till I got in the water over at the Island.

Beautiful weather, flat sea - the birds loved it


The motherload on the Barbie D. Our boat scored with a total of 21 cray, walloped the others guys... even if they did catch the biggest one for the day. I scored 9 of these, while dad bagged 7, Barry got 4 and Nudge chipped in with 1.


The days haul - 34 in total between 8 guys. A 9 pounder, a couple 8's and half a dozen 7 pounders... the rest were easily size and beautiful fish you'd be happy to catch any day!!


The legal limit... only 10 made it home (but aren't they beauties!?!)



The holy cray-shrine ready for a huge cook up

The SGRU

Tooheys have gone to the extreme on this ad campaign.

"You steal the glass, we'll nail your ass!"

New Years

The day started with a whirlwind in the kitchen preparing the nights seafood delights (of which we didn't even get to cook it all), and then got Phil to drop me and my gear into the boat. Right about then the prep crew (Glen, Michelle, Ivan, Claire and myself) downed tools and headed to The Taste (again!!) for lunch. A bit more prep in the afternoon, and it was into the first beer at 3pm.

They start arriving - Craig and Nathan


Seabrooky hooks into the cider


Me, Michelle and Glen


Bec wields the light saber of power


Artisic? Or just scary?


Tim and Ness


Nafe ....what the?


And Bucky calls for the "no photo's please"


And NYE brings the fireworks


And again (not bad pics these two from the phone!)


A trooper of an evening in all. Most people called it stumps shortly after the fireworks at midnight, but the select few held out till about 2am... what a night!!

The lead up to New Years

Thursday:
Calling on all Tacos fans. Ness's birthday called for mucho silliness and copious amount of tequila.


The fruity tingled culprit


Friday:
Phill and Sarah arrived from Launy and we headed into The Taste with Mike and Moldy. Met up with Bec briefly, and also Craig, Gail. Nathan and Catharine... 2, 4 ,6, 8 on the massive Anti-pesto platter.


Shame I don't have more pics - the wine was great and the food was tasty. I'm just glad that I wasn't one of those fire-twirling guys that copped an earful from the drunken heckler in the Bay 13 stands.

Ohhh and as a taster - here's a quick snap of the boat that was the host to NYE's deborchary.